Going to sleep and waking up are the hardest things in my life right now. I can't turn my brain off at night, and rolling out of bed after ten hours of sleep feels like waking up from three months of hibernation. I'm kind of in "the big wait" phase. I feel useless and powerless and everythinggoodless right now. To say I have no friends here is way fucked up to the few killer ones I do have, but I feel like I've burned too many bridges with the other ones. I'd say I can't wait for my friends to come back, but the truth is, they're not really coming back. I'll see most for Thanksgiving, but it'll be only for a few days. You can't live in anticipation for a few days. I can't wait to go back to Philly, but again, you can't live in anticipation for a few weeks. I can't wait to leave town again this summer, but again, you can't live in anticipation for a few months.
This week has been hell. I thought the time off would be good to catch up on school work, but of course I didn't. I play video games all day because its the only thing that makes me feel not miserable. But I'm not miserable. I'm just waiting I guess. Waiting to record that keyboard part. Waiting to stencil that shirt. Waiting to write those lyrics. Waiting for a girlfriend to fall from the sky.
I need routine in my life. I can't wait to start school again tomorrow so I can look at babes and eat Panda Express. I can't wait for work tomorrow so I can look at babes and eat Domino's pizza. Then once I turn in all my midterms Tuesday I can finally get around to things I've been meaning to do. Or stay up all night watching political videos on youtube. Probably that.
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- Da Bears (my band's myspace)
- My personal myspace
- Last.fm
- Perpetually Twelve Internet Show (online show focusing on San Diego music scene)
- David Caspian (political analysis from a libertarian / conservative friend)
- Inertiatic (off topic web community, music, philosophy, etc.)
- Perry Bible Fellowshit (brilliant webcomics)
- Electoral Vote (awesome bipartisan data analysis)
2 comments:
"Waiting for a girlfriend to fall from the sky." I know that feeling.
I use a hit counter from a website called Sitemeter.com. You have to create an account there, and you can link your blogs to it. Pretty neat.
Ryan I love the way you write. I can definitely relate to this entire post; not just little pieces, but ALL of it. Maybe just switch the words "babes" and "girlfriend" for "hot dudes" and "boyfriend." But I guess in times like these ya just gotta appreciate the little things and focus on whatever excitement you've got until something more interesting comes along. And it will, don't worry.
-Megan
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